Roasted Chicken, Corn, and Asparagus

This here is a little quarter chicken combo deal with corn, and asparagus. It's one of the few dishes I took prep shots of before I broke my beloved camera! I'm not sure if calling this a quarter of a chicken is accurate. It's more like a third, but what-ev's it's good shit. I seasoned it with the usual suspects, lemon-pepper, salt, garlic, and a dash of Louisiana hot-sauce. Sliced up some onions, poured on a little white wine, and wrapped her up in some tin foil. Set in the oven for about forty minutes maybe a little less, then open her up and add in the asp. While that's  going on open up a can of corn and pour some of the water off then put it in a pan. The corn not the can dummy! In a bout twenty minutes you should have supper ready!

Chicken and Gravy

Still reeling from Thanksgiving, it’s been over a week since I posted, sorry about that to anyone who actually tunes in to this blog. We haven’t developed any followers yet, but thanks to all the spammers out there who give me something to delete when I check the message box. Since my good camera is broken I can’t take any decent pictures of what I’m currently cooking. I’ve decided I will try to sit down and type out some stuff for all the pictures I took before I started this blog. I know I’ve promised to deliver before, but this time I mean it! It’s raining here in San Fran, and I’ve gotten to 100% on Grand Theft Auto: TLAD& BoGT! If you know what I’m talking about give yourself a prize for being as big of nerd as me!

I’m gonna try to break these up into individual blogs and recall how I made what as best as I can, but if I drift off topic from time to time bare with me. And if you have a blogger account or even a Google, please follow Monkee Chow, heck you can even RSS to appear on your home page thingie, you know the one nobody ever uses because we all just briefly check our mail before heading straight t Facebook for a false since of community. Alrighty then, with that let’s talk about fried chicken and gravy!

This one is really simple (that’s why I’m starting with it). For the fried chicken I used a mix that was more akin to country fried steak. Of course flour, with a lot of pepper and salt, some cayenne, and touch of cornmeal. The gravy is the real star of this dish. Just start with some grease. By grease I don’t mean some synthetic jar of lard, or vegetable oil. To make really good gravy you will have to start by saving the grease every time you use your frying pan. I like to keep mine in a coffee can by the stove. After some time you will develop this gelled culture along with some still chunky liquid. For real gravy like grand-ma used to make you gotta take the gross gelled parts and slap’em in back in the pan. Just a bit now you want more gravy later right? Then you wanna add milk and a tiny bit of flour. If you have heavy cream handy use that instead of milk, but milk works fine. Add your own touch of spices, whatever you want the gravy to taste like. I chose bear and black pepper with a little salt and hot sauce. The French cut green beans fresh out of the can, and baked potato with tons of butter to fill out the plate. You should also have a big wooden spoon-even if you don’t have kids-and use that to stir your mixture. Keep the burner on medium to low setting or you’ll have burnt tasting gravy. Add some water or more milk depending on how thick you like your gravy and move on to eating this delicious masterpiece! 

Thanksgiving for two!

So it's come and gone for another year! That day when most people get together with their family and gain weight as resentment builds. Guys watch pointless football games, kids play in the basement, and the women cackle like hens in the kitchen. Silly, yes I know, if you're not from America or live close enough to your family to go home then what are you to do? I live on the opposite side of the country from my family, but luckily I have a wonderful lady in which I live with and allows me to cook up some tasty vittles on the big foddie holiday! I decided since it was just the two of us I wasn't going to fix some outrageously large bird! We tried that in 2008 and ended up with turkey leftovers in January! This year I went with Cornish Game Hen. To add to that I chose yellow squash, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, and devil eggs, plus a new recipe for stuffing that I wanted to play with.

Lets start with my famous Bedeviled eggs shall we! I pre-boiled them the night before as to speed up the process. For my mixture I used Dijon Mustard, Sea Salt, Black Pepper and Chives.

My (not-so) secret ingredient of course is Mayo!

Mix it together as so!

Forget Paprika if you really want to devil up those eggs you gotta use this!.

Wa-La! These are the result!

Next I worked on the stuffing or dressing whatever they call it where you're from same difference. I Chopped up two slices of bread, sliced a few olives, added some chopped Rosemary, Garlic Salt, Basil, Sea Salt, and a few chives as well.

Mixed it all in bowl and get the pan ready. Boil one cup of water (in a small pot), in the frying pan melt some butter and minced Garlic. When the water is boiling and the butter is melted, combine the two and then wait a minute, then throw in the mix then to stir till it thicken, if you want it thicker add some bread crumbs or another piece of bread. 

Preheat the oven at 250 or 300 whatever, it's cool. Then go smoke a bowl and come back to work. It's time for the wild bird (as opposed to the yard bird).

Make sure you clean it well then give it a nice deep tissue massage with some butter! Then season them with some Rosemary, Basil, Sea Salt, Black Pepper, Cumin, and Minced Garlic. DON"T PUT THE STUFFING IN YET!!!!! Cannot stress that enough, there is nothing worst than burnt tasting stuffing. Now you're not just gonna throw it in like this though, you're gonna wanna put some veggies with this to give it some real flavor. so if you got some whole carrots and onions around use'em. You could put anything you want in there but I had some big baby carrots in the fridge and a red onion so I put them with it. But that's not all. I got the lady to part with a cup of Red wine and added about two cups of water so the veggies could swim. This is also for the slow cook, trust me this will be key in keeping your bird moist and falling off the bone! When all is said and done it should look like this. 

 

Cover then insert int o the oven like thus; 

Now it's time to chillax, and smoke another bowl, do some shots and play a little GTA IV; Ballad of Gay Tony! Throw in your corn on the cob at around the first hour mark. At the two hours mark and maybe a little less boil some taters, mash'em and then slice some squash and saute them bad-boys up! The last thing you want to create should be the gravy for the mash potatoes. You can do a homemade gravy, but I was lazy and felt I had done enough so I just used some store bought mix with water crap. I added butter and pepper to make it more mine, but other than that nada! Do one more shot and then check the condition of your bird. If it looks done but not brown enough then it's time to remove the cover and switch the shelving order from top to bottom. This whole process should run about three, to three and half hours. And with tall the weed and shots you should be pretty hungry. Remember to use self control and only eat this one meal. No breakfast, lunch, brunch not even a snack. Because this is a butt load of food for two people and all you will need for two days!

The end results should be placed as artfully on the plate as possible! And Boom-Shaka-Boom a wonderful Thanksgiven(sic)! Never mind the genocide of the indigenous people of this country or the dis-functionality of your family life, just eat until you're numb and then move into a comfortable state of sedation from drugs and alcohol! Speaking of Drugs and Alcohol after I took this pic I accidentally knocked my camera off the counter. Now you could blame the booze or the weed, but it was my fault for putting it too close to the edge of the counter while I was trying to work.

Due to the aforementioned camera mishap this was taken by my girl on her phone. Her bird had less squash because she requested it that way. The design on my own plate looked a little better with more squash.

Crab Cakes, Breaded Tilapia w/ Spanish Rice and Side Salad

Tonight's meal was Crab Cakes, Breaded Tilapia, with Spanish rice and side salad. The Rasputin is for me. I like to drink when I cook because the two greatest influences on my style are my Grandmother and Justin Wilson. I f you don't know who that is look him up and learn something (a little for the turkey, a little for me!)!

My Crab Cakes consist of ;

1 can of Crab Meat

5 thin strand's of Chives

2 tlbsp's of Lemon Pepper

2 tlbsp's Cayanne Pepper

1 tlbsp's Sea Salt

1/2 Cup of Bread Crumbs

and one egg!

no big secret here just some bomb ass crab cakes

For the Tilapia mix the bread crumbs, Lemon Pepper, Cayenne, and Sea Salt. Separately mix an egg wash containing milk, egg, Louisiana Hot Sauce, and water. Dip the fish in the wash and then into the bread crumb mixture. For the Spanish rice boil two cups of water and then add contents of the package. I know, it sounds lazy but Thanksgiving is coming and I have a full time job so bite me! For the salad I cut up some Romaine lettuce, carrots, onions, tomatoes and Pepperoncini's. It takes just a few minutes to fry the crab cakes and Tilapia then wha-la you have a beautiful and healthy dinner!

Bacon, Egg, and Waffle Sandwich

In honor of me having to get up in a few hours to work my one day shift of the week! I present to you a creation of mine that I have enjoyed since childhood. It is the Bacon/Egg, and Waffle Sandwich!

I'm not a fan of cooking breakfast, I don't believe man should be forced to get up before noon! But it's the price I have to pay for having Sunday and Monday off each week.

Welcome to the Monkee House!

Welcome, 

I've been debating this idea for some time, trying to figure out if it was safe to publish my ideas and techniques safely without them being stolen or co-opted by some unimaginative celebrity chef! Finally I came to the conclusion that if I don't start sharing what I can do, then it won't matter anyway. So this is my food blog. I write several other blogs, but I earn a living as a cook. Right now I am currently employed at a small bakery in San Francisco. I won't say the name here, but if you really want to know I might tell you-and just YOU! Anyway, my other blogs have nothing to do with food so they won't be mentioned here, if you're curious you can click this link. 

I have been a professional cook for many years, I got my first kitchen job in the fast-food industry at age 14 as part of a summer program, I have stayed in the business every sense with a few detours here and there, yet I always come back to cooking. I tried to attend culinary school but I could not afford it, as I am ineligible for student loans do to the fact that I didn't want to sign up for the draft at 18. I am not regretful of that decision, but I do regret that I am unable to receive student loans even though I pay taxes, simply because I cannot fight for the government. But those are the breaks no crying over spilled milk, now the lack of formal education means I won't be working for any high-end five-star restaurants anytime soon, and but one day I will own one.

In this blog I will not be giving away any of my most prized recipes. My BBQ sauce is top secret and so is the "magic" rub, but everything else is pretty much up for grabs. Seeing as how I do this on a daily basis for a pay check I probably won't be posting everyday. I simply don't have the time or desire to whip up a full meal at home each day. At first I will load up the post with meals I have already prepared int he past and then I'll work up to what ever I am currently fixing in the kitchen. Sometimes it will be photos and descriptions, sometimes it will be full recipes, sometimes I might just make a video of me in action, it will just depend on my mood.

I drink pretty much constantly, and indulge in a little medicinal from time to time, my language will be coarse and if you are offended by any of that then you should probably stick to a safer more family friendly food blog. I will not be reviewing other peoples restaurants, food, or recipes, I don't care what you are doing so don't waste my time. I also feel pretty confident that my work is the best and all others are merely pretenders to the throne or children clambering for a bit. What will do is give you a glimpse of my genius and allow you to bask in the afterglow. Just kidding (Not really), but yeah I'm just gonna show-off, so sit back and dream of how cool it would be if you had a guy like me living in your house cooking up the bomb-ass flavor and smoking all your weed while playing X-Box 12 hour a day!

Yours Truly,

The  (Indispensable) L